As if 2020 couldn’t get any more challenging, we’re at the precipice of one of the most contentious elections in recent memory as a nation, with reports that the end (results) may not be in clear sight. Dealing with uncertainty, navigating disappointment and regulating emotions are essential life skills in ‘normal times’. This year, the stakes feel higher with reports of suppression, intimidation, threats and conflicting information from both sides. Ready or not, we’re being called to up-level our resilience.
For many, the outcome of the election will bring with it shock, anger, disappointment, fear, grief and other emotions rising. This process (e-motion = energy in motion) releases chemicals in your body, so the faster you can help mitigate the negative ones, the better.
So what do you do if your candidate of choice doesn't win the election? You make a plan to be OK and set it on repeat. You create a power mantra for yourself, and work with your kids to develop their own. Keep it simple and uplifting. A simple, “I'm OK, this is OK and I am calm, resilient and at peace” will do.
You remember it's not the end of the world and you’re stronger than you think. A 'change of guard' and ‘status quo’ happens more often than we remember, and we always get through it. Remember that in life, and especially this year, we've faced challenge after challenge, adapted, and overcome. We have grown exponentially. You remember that your well-being and mental health are contingent on your on your side winning.
When we don’t get our way, it can feel like our point of view was somehow ‘wrong’ or under attack. Although we know consciously that isn’t true, losses can be devastating and erode our sense of control, bringing with it anger, grief and fear. Moving past anger and grief from unwanted change and loss can take time. So be kind and patient with yourself. When you find out who won - regardless of whether it was your candidate of choice - remember:
1. TAKE 3, DEEP BREATHS - Hold at the top of your breath for 3 seconds, and exhale to a count of 3. This will help clear your energy and bring calm – anytime you do it.
2. ACKNOWLEDGE FEELINGS - Make space for all you and your family to have and allow your feelings and emotions without becoming them or holding on to them. “I am feeling sad.” Remind yourself that although you may be feeling mad or sad, it won’t last. Accepting the ebb and flow of life we understand the impermanence of everything and that life is always changing.
3. REPEAT A POWER MANTRA - Like a muscle being worked, over time this mantra will help your mind get stronger and you’ll become more resilient in the face of change and uncertainty.
4. SELF-CARE - Take conscious action to protect yourself - if you know the news, social media or particular family members and friends can upset you, STAY AWAY. Just as a child learns not to touch a hot stove, we must increasingly parent and police ourselves. If you feel like you could use some extra support, reach out to a professional for help.
5. PEACE, CALM & KINDNESS ARE FREE – Focus on the ONLY thing you can control – YOU. Your reactions and responses are yours alone. Be where you are, and remember you can direct your energy to create more positive outcomes. Whether you feel like you ‘won’ or ‘lost’, be emotionally mature and mindful of others – nobody likes a sore loser or a sore winner, and everybody wins with kindness.
Storms come and storms go. Pearls rest peacefully in their shells at great depths of the seas unaffected by storms raging on the water’s surface. Every person in a state of peace and can help calm our neighbors and strengthen our nation. Remember, no matter who lives in the White House in January, no one can move into your peace of mind without your permission. With a mindful strategy, a strong support system, and focused discipline, that guard will not change.
Photo by Joyce McCown on Unsplash
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